I guess now is the opportune time to really crown MEPA for being the most inconsistent public funded government institution ever, and for taking us back to Lorry Sant days when land had no value other than for money-making ventures.
MEPA is a veritable slug. For the benefit of the many MEPA’s politically appointed members who know f*** all about field biology, a slug is a gastropod. But as everyone at MEPA should know, a gastropod is also an unsightly invertebrate that wreaks havoc in a garden.
And that is just what MEPA has been doing for the last years: licensing the devastation of our national garden called Malta and Gozo, with the blessing of policies conjured specifically to justify the unjustifiable.
I am afraid one should not blame the people who represent MEPA, the chairman Andrew Calleja, or the far from affable Sylvana Debono, or even the members who choose to serve. I should rather point all my blanks at the minister responsible, because it is the minister, and no one else, who has nurtured this horrible monster.
In the last years I have listened carefully and attentively about the need to upgrade our local plans and to make it virtually impossible for any development to take place in the ODZ, yes that infamous acronym that means “Outside Development Zone.”
And yet, not a minute goes by when we do not witness more applications for development in ODZ sites. And more often than not, the same branches within MEPA will find no reason to grant the permit; and then, somehow at the highest level, the politically appointed boards decide in favour against all odds.
The last example is perhaps the best one yet.

Charles Polidano, or shall we simply call him CAQNU – the man they (fellow journalists from St Paul’s street) once accused me of being in cahoots with – has applied for God-only-knows-how-many permits to build supermarkets.
The last one was a supermarket application off Safi, and the Agriculture Department, MEPA’s Environment Directorate, MEPA’s case officer all jointly suggested that it should be refused.
Then the Development Control Commission, comprised of men and women selected – or shall we say handpicked – by the Minister, take a conflicting decision and allowed Polidano’s project to be given the green light.
Now, it has to be said that a supermarket or supermarkets is not exactly the most desperately needed development on the island; and yet MEPA’s spokeswoman, in reply to what I had to say last Sunday, said that MEPA had acted according to some policy.
In many people’s view there are enough supermarkets to feed Malta tenfold, and yet they continue to sprout: killing land, most especially agricultural land, and small groceries to boot.
Obviously, Sylvana Debono is very quick to respond when it means defending MEPA or its Chairman.
Now I will not suggest, or even attempt to suggest that Polidano puts any pressure on politicians or MEPA. I will only say - and this I can attest – that I have been in the offices of many a Nationalist minister when contractors have phoned in groaning against MEPA and calling on the politician to push their application. Whether they have succumbed to the pressure, I cannot really say.

Not to blame
Polidano is not exactly to blame if he has every intention of defacing Malta’s landscape. I only met him once in my life, and that was after he phoned me after he had slapped a journalist who confronted him with some unkind accusations in the presence of his lawyer, Beppe Fenech Adami.
He probably sincerely believes that the best thing for Malta and Gozo is to change it into one giant concrete mixer.
MEPA and its reps are not to blame either if they choose to ignore the opinions of experts within their own organisation. But their kind of politics should at least convince them to change their name to something that truly reflects the nature of their history.
Were it not for the persistence of greens and tree-huggers alike, MEPA would gladly have converted large tracts of Malta and Gozo into cement parks.
I had no intention of picking on Sylvana Debono, but in her risposte sent by email to defend their horrid decision to allow Mr Chalie Polidano to effectively do whatever he pleases, she pointed out that there were no third parties who opposed the development.
She is of course expecting people like Astrid Vella and Martin Galea and I guess Martin Scicluna to keep awake all night and look out for sneaky applications which they think MEPA will simply say yes to. Is that what you want, Sylv?
What Missus Debono is probably saying is that if no one really cares, then why should we?
Which is why MaltaToday had been following the story for such a long, long time.
But it seems no one at MEPA really cares.
Now, of course I do not have the charisma or leverage that Mr Chalie Polidano has. Neither do I have his looks, his manners or his euros. I can live without any of them.
Neither do I have proof that Chalie Polidano pressurised MEPA, and neither do I know if any of the ministers or politicians has exerted pressure.
I cannot believe that such things even take place in the Island of Malta.
But I can tell you that when I was a consultant working closely with MEPA I experienced pressures and I find it hard to believe that nothing was said to change the nature of a decision.
MEPA has a lot of explaining to do.

Carmel Cacopardo
The fact that Carmel Cacopardo screwed up and embarrassed the Greens for not having divulged his past interest in an application in the same area – that needless to say was refused by MEPA in 1995 – should not be the reason for forgiving MEPA for its mortal sin.
If God was an ecologist and Hell really existed then there is little doubt in my mind that most of the DCC would be for some hot stuff in the unforeseeable future.
But I would not really worry, God has more important things to do, namely convincing the sceptics of his very own existence.

Central Intelligence Agency
I do not watch PBS on Mondays or even Fridays.
But I could have hardly believed my ears when I was told that a diplomat who happened to write a book, in which he wrote that the Labour party won the 1996 election with the help of the CIA, was given any credence at all, let alone that he was interviewed on the subject.
Well, “interviewed” is somewhat different to allowing someone to get away with murder.
But then again, nothing beats a TV show that continues to find ways of kneecapping Labour.
You see, some people in politics cannot understand the basic tenet of democracy: what goes up must come down.
The allegation that the CIA helped Alfred Sant to win the election is of course as far fetched as the idea that during the election, St Peter and St Paul will be at the Stamperija (PN headquarters) helping out with the campaign.
Yet, I am sure that some Nationalists truly believe that God and his saints are on their side.
When asked by the most credible journalist this side of the globe, the former diplomat said that he was informed of this CIA plot by a high PN official. The PN official remains incognito.
And for his own good I would suggest he never even admits to having said such a ridiculous thing.

Poles apart
Back to MEPA. Really someone should give MEPA a gold medal this year, for allowing Enemalta to continue erecting pylons in the middle of the countryside without any consideration for the landscape.
The last example is Enemalta’s long line of new electricity pylons around Malta’s highest point around Nadur Tower.
I remember in the good old bad days of Labour, when the power of the pen had convinced Enemalta to remove its pylons from Ta’ Cenc.
That was 1982 and I was a very proud young writer after that.
I very much doubt EneMalta will play to this tune this time round.
Times have changed, and so has everyone.