There is hardly any need to tell the Maltese and Gozitans (very important not to leave out the Gozitans), how to avoid paying government taxes.
Yet apart from the simple reasons that people want more money in their pockets and just love shafting government, there must be some moral reasoning behind all this.
It is bad enough to think that most hotel owners who declare that they are the saviours of Malta have had their fair share of public land for nothing and subsidies galore from our taxes. It is bad enough that we have subsidised loss-making entities to keep industrial peace.
So in the middle of August, when most people are really thinking of having a good time and getting away from the work routine, here I am trying to think of some very good reasons not to pay state tax.
So here we go, and please I do hope that the blue gladiators – i.e., Frank Psaila at Stamperija and David Herrera at Auberge de Castille – will have the decency to cut out this opinion just in case Lawrence misses out on MaltaToday during his well deserved sojourn in Normandy.

Here we go:
If Kenneth DeMartino gets paid Lm210,000 as compensation for a publicly built car park at Mater Dei, and then earns around Lm500,000 a year from parking tickets at our state hospital, and then get his Lm140,000 concession fee waived, then please do not feel bad if Tonio Fenech does not get your tax.
If the list of political appointees to government boards and foreign posts is based on the nepotistic system fomented by Dom Mintoff, refined by Fenech Adami and simply repeated by Gonzi, feel free not to declare your real income.
If big bad boys get their application permits for building more concrete erections in ODZ areas – all with the blessing of Gonzi’s MEPA – while at the same time Joe Bloggs cannot get his washroom sanctioned, then repeat what I have been suggesting in 1 and 2.
If doctors, lawyers and architects find no reason to issue VAT receipts because John Dalli’s legislation precluded them from that, then you know what.
If cancer treatment and drugs such as Herceptin are not available for a large segment of cancer patients because our ministers are embroiled in the lame excuse that there is something called “procedure”, then do not feel guilty if you underdeclare.
If entities such as Wasteserv, the Malta Resources Authority and others rent their premises from private companies at astonishing prices when they could easily be located in government lodging, do not feel bad if the real value of your property is not what it is supposed to be.
If painters, plumbers, electricians, tilers and stone masons can get away with declaring ridiculous revenues, then just get on with your business of evading tax.
If beach lidos and hotels can encroach on public land and get “concessions” from enforcement agencies and MEPA, then do what all good Catholics do – SIN!
When the issue of conflict of interest finally configures in the mind of Lawrence Gonzi and he removes all those officials (such as those political appointees in Malta Enterprise) then we should start wondering whether we should ask for favours when we need to gets things done.
If the political parties, the major ones at least, are allowed to receive undeclared funding from big business then we should not concern ourselves if we do not declare cash gifts.
When the Maltese government realises it made a mistake by heeding to the advice given by Albert Mizzi, and actively supported by Richard Cachia Caruana, to purchase a wasteful mega embassy complex in Brussels, then perhaps we should consider not declaring the real value of our property.
If and when the big boys start getting slammed for tax evasion, then and only then we should be shocked if the doughnut vendor in the village feast does not issue a VAT receipt.
When properties taken over by well-known political thugs and bullies are taken back by government, then and only then should we really actively think of paying inheritance tax.
And only when ministers such as George Pullicino and former MEPA chief Andrew Calleja realise how incorrect it is to holiday with characters such as Azzopardi of Azzopardi Fisheries, should we run off to the Inland Revenue department to declare all our assets.
Finally, when the Naxxar local council asks its Mayor Fatima Deguara to declare her assets and those of her husband, only then will we accept her vile demand to the victims of the Naxxar fireworks tragedy to declare their assets and savings before claiming for damages.

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Needless to say there are dozens of other good reasons why people should avoid paying taxes. For example: why should we respect the limit on how much alcohol we should bring in with us from Sicily if the port reforms have reaped us no benefit despite all the hollow talk at the time by Dr Gonzi?
Most of us have stopped believing that any of our politicians believe in the high moral ground. Those who have any respect for themselves have long given up on being impressed by politicians.
In the last 45 years, consecutive governments – but especially this one – have created a state within a state.
The state, according to this government, has three classes of citizens. The first are the Gladiators, those who are ready to fight for the same party to be elected. The second, those who spend four years eleven months grumbling, but then choose to vote for the same party they’ve been grumbling about for so long. And the third class are the others: the opposition, the fallen out and those who are intellectually independent or mentally insane.
We, the mentally insane, have little time for politicians: least of all Gonzi, more so with his unbelievable acceptance of direct orders and his reluctance to reform age-old traditions such as the appointment of appointees on boards according to their political lineage. Not to mention other important issues such as electoral reform and political financial rules.
What we need in this country is a detached electorate, one that refuses to accept the status quo, one that is willing to wave the middle finger at election time.
If there is a high moral ground, it is not to be found either at Castille, Mile End or Stamperija. It is in the hearts and minds of people.
My heart and my mind tells me that the time has come to empower society not make it more servile to a system dictated by the whims and arrogance of 65 ambitious men and women.

Next Sunday, Saviour Balzan asks why it is perfectly OK to describe the Honourable Joseph Muscat as female genitalia but not the Honourable Lawrence Gonzi