This week, women were in the news.
The Economist had an interesting (and depressing) article about the skewed sex ratios of babies born in countries such as China, India, Taiwan and a wide variety of other poor developing nations. In western societies that keep accurate birth records, between 103 and 106 boys are normally born for every 100 girls. In countries such as China, however, every year there are 123 boys born per 100 girls – a biologically unnatural ratio.
The truth behind the numbers is stark and shocking. Girls are seen as undesirable in these countries – a son is worth more than a daughter. So pregnant couples save up for an ultrasound in order to determine the gender of their baby, and if there is no little penis on display, they proceed to abort the foetus as soon as possible. Sex-selective abortion has become a way of life in such places, and the result is gendercide on a wide scale.
So I guess that girls have it good in Malta. We make it to our first birthday safely in most cases. However that does not mean that we can rest on our laurels. We can kid ourselves that we have achieved equality – however frankly we still have a long way to go. Maltese society still has a very stereotyped vision of the role of men and women and unfortunately in this rather backward mentality women are very much the underdog.
Take the results of the Eurobarometer survey published this week, for example. According to the great majority of Maltese, a woman’s place is in the home, cooking and cleaning and possibly breastfeeding a baby or two. 60% of respondents felt that this should apply even when a woman earns more than her partner. It does not matter that the family is worst off financially if the woman cleans and the man works – the important thing is not upsetting the natural order of things.
Even more disconcerting is the fact that 60% of Maltese believe that women should work less than men (outside the home, I presume) and 68% of us think that men should not be expected to contribute equally inside the home. Apparently washing the dishes or mopping the floor is acceptable work for women but too demeaning for men!
Get the picture? Women should stay at home and do the chores, isolated from the rest of the world – while men get to go out, socialise, earn a living and return home to a clean house and a hot meal on the table.
What really stumps me is the fact that the survey included equal numbers of male and female respondents. I would understand such results if all the respondents were male – after all can you blame them for wanting to perpetuate a system where they don’t have to lift a finger in the home? God knows I would be really happy to maintain the status quo if I were one of them! However how on earth can women themselves perceive their role in life this way? How can women think that it is OK to work their fingers to the bone while their husbands sit and watch TV? I don’t get it. Are they masochistic or just plain stupid?
The truth is that our society is betraying young women. We encourage them to study, to get degrees and further their career. We tell them that the world is their oyster and to follow their dreams… however, as soon as they have their first child we expect them to give everything up because “a woman’s place is in the home” and if they do not do so we make them feel guilty about being “bad mothers”.
In my opinion this is a load of rubbish. Women are entitled to leave the home and go make their own way in the world. In fact, many have already done so and are managing to juggle children, careers and home very well. Their partners have had to learn new skills like cooking or folding socks and they have not keeled over and died from the stress or the humiliation of it!
I am so convinced that women can make it on their own steam that I am totally opposed to the introduction of quotas. I especially disagree with the idea of gender quotas for members of parliament. Our MPs are elected by the people and by no stretch of the imagination can we have women taking the place of men who get more votes. That would be undemocratic and plain unfair.
However I have a question for you. If you agree with me that women are as intelligent and capable as men, how do you explain the fact that routinely you get three women to five or six men on the great majority of government-appointed boards? Are there only half as many women who can contribute on these boards as there are men?
I think the answer lies in the fact that the pool of qualified men in various sectors is much bigger than the pool of similarly-qualified women, so the choice of men to appoint to boards and positions of authority is bigger. Ultimately, the only way to sort out the situation fairly is to level the playing field so more women get out there and build up the experience and credentials necessary for such posts.
I think we have to start with a cultural change from the grass roots. We need successful men to put out the message that it is OK for a man to contribute in the home and that it does not demean him or emasculate him to carry a fair share of the burden of running a family. Once men become equal partners in the home, more women will be empowered to get a job and further their career.
We need successful role models who can really get the message across – and who better to give a good example than our politicians? How about showing a photo of Joseph Muscat ironing his shirt next time he gives an interview? Or a photo of Lawrence Gonzi folding socks while discussing current affairs with his wife?
However let’s face it – at the end of the day girls, the ball is in your court. Put down that dishcloth, put on a suit and venture out in the big wide world. I guarantee that once you do so, you will never look back!
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