This week, the Doha Colloquium on Strengthening Marriage and Supporting Families was held in Valletta. One of the speakers made a presentation explaining the ills of divorce and the terrible consequences for the children. All of this makes sense – children thrive in happy and stable circumstances and going through a divorce definitely cannot be defined as a happy or stable experience.
However, one thing that I can never understand is why people in this country persist in comparing children from divorced families with children from happy families. Surely it is obvious that the former have a much rougher time than the latter?
What would be much more useful is a comparison between children whose parents have had a divorce and those whose parents have separated legally, or a comparison between the offspring of divorcees and the children of unhappy parents who persist in living together. It is only then that we can have a serious debate about the impact of divorce on children in this country.
We all know that children are upset if their family breaks up. However, do you really believe that they would be any more upset if their parents told them “honey, we are getting divorced” as opposed to “darling, we are getting a legal separation”?
Is it possible, by any stretch of the imagination, to think that when one of their parents leaves home, and life as they know it changes overnight, the kids will console themselves by saying – “oh well, thank goodness it’s just a separation not a divorce!”
Following this line of thought, what would a child’s reaction be when their estranged parents start dating or when they move in with another partner? Do you think they will say “phew, I need not take this too seriously – after all they are just co-habiting, not getting married.”
Kids do not care about the semantics! If their family is breaking up, they do not stop to think about the legal niceties of the matter. The situation is devastating, full stop.
Shakespeare told us that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet – well the corollary is that a family break-up still stinks to high heaven, whatever you decide to call it.
No longer above the law
Looks like the fun and games are about to end for the Italian Premier. When he won power in 2008 he forced through legislation that granted him immunity from prosecution while in office – leading many to query his motivation for entering the world of politics. Was it all a ploy to evade justice?
However this week the Constitutional Court in Italy overturned this ridiculous law, a decision which could pave the way for serious charges to be pressed against the Italian Prime Minister – bribery, influence peddling and tax fraud.
Mr Berlusconi has made it very clear that he has no intention of resigning from his position. It appears that he is not concerned about the fact that the world at large is following events in Italy with a collectively raised eyebrow.
Rumours of affairs with minors; accusations of consorting with prostitutes; photos of naked men and scantily clad women cavorting in his private villa; public scoldings from the Vatican; diplomatic gaffes with NATO, Queen Elizabeth and the Obamas – the list goes on and on, and yet the man is stuck to the seat of power like a leech.
Mr Berlusconi’s approval ratings have taken a nose dive – proving that the Italians are getting fed up with his antics. It is to be hoped that the man will be forced out of office before he drags the entire country into disrepute.
Voluntary solidarity
I think you will all agree that we have not exactly been blown away by the show of solidarity we have seen in relation to migrant burden sharing. Just six EU countries (France, Portugal, Slovenia, Slovakia, Luxembourg and Lithuania) have offered to help us out, pledging to take a grand total of 100 refugees out of the thousands who have found their way to our shores.
This situation is disappointing, to say the least.
It is clear that the time has come for the Government to step up pressure on the EU for more concrete action regarding the irregular immigration problem. The plans to set up an EU/UNHCR office in Libya to assess asylum requests must be turned to action, and more resources must be obtained to strengthen Frontex.
There is no use complaining without taking action. Our representatives need to make sure that our voice is heard in Brussels, and that something is done about it.
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All of this makes sense – children thrive in happy and stable circumstances and going through a divorce definitely cannot be defined as a happy or stable experience.
