Seeing as how we are all watching our spending because of the rise in our utilities and fuel expenditure, it was rather galling to read that my stress can be relieved when travelling by drinking champagne and eating dark chocolate. As though any woman does not know that!
I would willingly ease my stress with bubbly every day, not just when travelling, if only I could afford it.
Of course the story was promotional and, frankly, a lot of baloney. Champagne and dark chocolate is what the Malta International Airport (MIA) proposes, among other products, to help passengers reduce the physical and mental stress associated with travelling.
It is touching to see that the MIA cares for our wellbeing. However, if it really wants to reduce stress among travellers it could start by reducing waiting time (admittedly some is beyond their control) rather than adding to the items we can buy while waiting.
A presentation on how to save money while waiting for our flights would give more stress relief, rather than telling us how to spend more.
We shall now be able to buy a number of products, we are told, including moisturisers, flight socks, pillows, eye masks, ear plugs and oxygen supplements, as well as energy-boosting foods, stress-busting snacks, red wine and of course those great stress relievers champagne and dark chocolate.
I am sure that moisturisers are already available at the airport, but what on earth are oxygen supplements? Are they gas masks? Oxygen canisters? Fresh air in a bottle?
The only things that are possibly not available now are flight socks, eye masks, earplugs and of course pillows, although airlines usually carry a few of the latter and club travellers usually get the lot.
The press was given this information while attending the launch of the campaign to promote healthy flying, at the airport.
I suppose now all the Maltese Hyacinth Bucket replicas will be queuing to buy eye masks for a two-hour flight.
“Eat, drink, shop, enjoy” was part of the pie chart in the presentation by Farrol Kahn, the founder and director of Aviation Health, that helped develop the campaign in Malta. Aviation Consumerism would seem to be a more appropriate title.
He explained that champagne creates a euphoric effect caused by the bubbles, which also helps reduce stress. Red wine contains antioxidants and dark chocolate reduces blood pressure and provides instant energy.
Yeah, yeah, but as far as I know the healthiest drink to imbibe while flying is water. Alcohol sure makes you happy, but it also dehydrates. It is rather pointless moisturising your skin and then drinking alcohol.
Besides, Aviation Health might be an international non-profit organisation, but someone is going to be making a bit of cash out of this. In fact, the campaign was organised by the Airport Value Marketing Association (AVMA), which represents all the retail outlets in the departures lounge. I love the “value” in the title. Airport Cornered Marketing seems more apt.
The products are meant to make the flying experience less stressful, “healthier and more enjoyable”, the press was told. The airport, ever thoughtful, has even produced a booklet, which lists a number of products that can be bought from the retail outlets in the departures area. It gives details on the advantages of each one and their effect on passengers.
Surely, the stress will return twofold once the credit card statements arrive. I am looking forward to what the “energy-boosting” foods and “stress-busting” snacks are going to be like. Lobster and caviar to go with the champers, maybe? Whatever they are, with hyped names like that they are bound to be pricey.
Now for something much more serious that could really relieve travel stress. Ivan Camilleri, writing from Brussels, tells us that Antonio Tajani, the new Italian European commissioner responsible for transport and a former air-traffic controller, has come up with some great ideas, which would cut down on not only waiting time, but also flight time.
The plan, to be called “Single European Sky II”, involves re-dimensioning the way air-traffic in the EU is conducted.
The aim is to make passenger life easier, cut costs and pollution. According to Mr Tajani, the division of Europe’s skies into 27 national airspaces means the 28,000 daily passenger and freight flights in the EU are, on average, 49 kilometres longer than necessary.
The proposal also aims to reduce aeroplane queues on take-off and landing so that flights will have a greater chance of arriving on time.
The package will save the EU aviation industry about €2 to €3 billion a year, a cost caused partly by airplanes being forced to circle overhead while waiting to land.
As to pollution reduction, cutting the time spent in the air could cut carbon emissions by 10 per cent, or 16 million tonnes a year.
The plan would involve merging national air-traffic control, better co-ordinate airport slots issued to aircraft operators and the establishment of an airport capacity observatory to fully integrate airports in the aviation network.
But don’t hold your breath, sovereignty over national airspace by member states might hold things up, since it is a substantial source of income.
I do not how this works considering our size, but apparently Malta has “a very large airspace”, by which we (I use “we” loosely) make lots and lots of dosh.

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