This week a heartrending story featured prominently in our local newspapers. This was the case of the girl who was allegedly raped by her uncle when she was just seven years old. The story was particularly poignant for me because I have a daughter who is of that age, and believe me when I say that what is said to have happened to that little girl was the stuff out of which my worst nightmares are made.
As the story unfolded and the various witnesses took the stand, it became clear to me that if the accounts are true then this child was not only a victim of rape, but also of unforgivable behaviour by several members of her family.
Here we have a child who was molested by her grown-up uncle, who ends up ostracised by her entire family for speaking up about her ordeal. It appears that the grandparents, uncles, aunts and the entire extended family ganged up and rallied around the alleged perpetrator, while trying to bully the girl and her mother into dropping the charges.
If this is true, then action should be taken against them. They may not be guilty of the rape itself; however they are definitely guilty of emotional and psychological abuse.
Instead of love and support, this girl was made to feel that she was the cause of all the problems. The persecution of the child was not only emotional, but at times allegedly took a physical turn. In fact her stepfather testified that once the girl came home from school covered in bruises because one of her uncles had thrown stones at her in an attempt to intimidate her.
Will action be taken against this second uncle?
The intimidation did not stop there. Allegedly the grandfather threatened the whole family, and yet another uncle initiated a campaign of harassment against the girl, her mother and stepfather by filing police reports against them.
If this is shown to be true, will action be taken against the grandfather and uncle?
In addition to the family, the girlfriend of the alleged rapist apparently also joined the fray. According to testimony in court, the woman called the victim’s mother and threatened her with revenge if her boyfriend ended up in jail.
Here we have a woman whose boyfriend is accused of raping a child multiple times. Instead of having serious second thoughts about whether he is the type of man she wants to spend her life with and possibly have children with, she goes on the attack to defend her man. What might have escaped her attention in all of this is that if her lover ends up in jail, it will be because he was found guilty of the charges brought against him. In that case the girl who spoke up would actually have done her a favour, saving her from a life with a rapist and child molester.
This is a sad story. At the time of writing this article, the verdict is still not in. I would like to believe that it is impossible that all the things there were alleged in court are true, because these actions are simply too horrible to contemplate. However if they are, then it is important that the court sends out a serious and clear message to child molesters and those who try to cover up for them. There should be retribution not only for those who rape and abuse children, but also for those who conspire to intimidate the victims in an attempt to cover up the crime that was perpetrated against them.
As for the rest of us, we have to face the facts and admit that whatever the outcome of this case, child abuse is a scourge that destroys families worldwide, including Malta.
I obviously have no idea what support, if any, was offered to this girl and to her family. However it is important that the authorities take note of what the witnesses are saying, in order to ensure that structures are in place to support future victims.
Child abuse is often unreported because the children involved are afraid to tell anyone what has happened. According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry – “The child of five or older who knows and cares for the abuser becomes trapped between affection or loyalty for the person, and the sense that the sexual activities are terribly wrong. If the child tries to break away from the sexual relationship, the abuser may threaten the child with violence or loss of love. When sexual abuse occurs within the family, the child may fear the anger, jealousy or shame of other family members, or be afraid the family will break up if the secret is told.”
Apologies for the long quote, but it explains it much better than I ever could. That’s the problem in a nutshell: children do not realise that the animosity and fighting that emerge after abuse is exposed is not their fault. They are afraid that their family will break up, that they will not be loved – so they stay silent.
The long-term effects of abuse include low self-esteem and a difficulty building lasting and committed adult relationships. That is why it is vital that the victims of abuse are given counselling and support. This treatment is important to enable them to build their self-confidence and teach them that it is indeed possible to trust their fellow human beings. The fact that they were unfortunate enough to meet a fiend in their childhood should not be allowed to destroy their entire life.
The story above also brings the importance of counselling to the fore: not only for the victim, but for the entire family, who would clearly also be suffering because of what happened. In such stressful and unusual circumstances, even the most closely-knit of families would need help in order to be able to support one another.
My only hope in this whole sorry tale is that whatever the outcome of the case, this ravaged family will find closure, and that they will all be able to move on and find some peace.
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The story was particularly poignant for me because I have a daughter who is of that age, and believe me when I say that what is said to have happened to that little girl was the stuff out of which my worst nightmares are made. 
