Women unite!

The judgement of the Court of Appeal last Friday ruled that a wife had no right to claim maintenance from her husband in perpetuity and decided that after the children reach the age of 12, the wife must go and get herself a job.
This at face value may be nothing extraordinary but the implications of it are. Our law states that the right to maintenance is forfeited when the spouse abandons the matrimonial home or for reasons of adultery. These are the two reasons at law; but the Court of Appeal last Friday went one step further, and it ordered the wife to go and work when her children are 12 years of age. This decision is a victory for men who have so far been given the luxury to have their children brought up by the other spouse at no expense, except for the duty to pay maintenance.
Why do I say this? Simply because so far our courts have based their calculations when granting maintenance on the actual, day-to-day expenses concerning the minor and the spouse. This means that the wife, who has to bind her children, has to go through the humiliation of submitting a breakdown of the expenses she incurs in the upkeep of her children and herself, and the amount of maintenance is generally calculated on this breakdown and on how much the husband earns or declares that he earns in the case of a self-employed man.
To add insult to injury, the husband who fails to give maintenance to his children and to his wife is given a pat on the back, because any court order is not effective retroactively, so that the husbands and fathers who do not financially support their children are not reprimanded or punished for leaving their children and the mother of their children in need.
But last Friday’s judgement continues to confirm the rule on which maintenance is calculated, but it stops from re-confirming that paying maintenance to the wife is there for as long as the marriage is still valid.
Because let us face it, in any separation the marriage is still valid and both spouses are still bound by the obligations of marriage; in other words, adultery is not allowed and the husband remains the husband, and not an ex-husband, because the wife remains the wife and not the ex-wife.
However the judgement does not give any consideration or weight or valuation to the role of the wife as child carer and how much of her time she gives to the children who reach the age of 12 and not to herself. The judgement fails to quantify in euros the role of the mother as a child minder and a child carer, and how much the wife is saving in money for the husband who is not child minding.
This is not fair because the sacrifices that the mothers do in bringing up their children single-handedly is not being considered, let alone appreciated by our society. Mothers who are now being ordered to go and work when their children reach 12 years of age must also be remunerated for minding their children. This is something that men take for granted, and it seems that clothing, education, health and feeding expenses are the only things that our society takes into account.
The role of the mother is taken for granted and we all know of the ordeal that many mothers have to go through when their children are abandoned by their fathers because they fail to pay maintenance, or because they literally hibernate or leave the island. I invite you to come to the Family Court every Monday and Wednesday and hear the plight of these women before Magistrate Vella who summon their husband or the father of their children for failing to pay maintenance.
And in the meantime these women cannot leave their children hungry or naked because their father is not providing them with money, and they have to beg, steal or borrow for their children’s sake. It is true that many such men end up in jail, but jail does not feed the children and the animosity in the family continues to go even deeper, to the detriment of the children.
But these sacrifices are not appreciated by our society and therefore by the Family Court. Neither does the Ministry for Social Policy for that matter: it continues to be an accomplice with the defaulting fathers in providing social assistance to the mother and her children and failing to take action against the father to recoup the money given from our taxes to his wife and children.
Not only that, but the Department for Social Security is all so disorganised in the matter of social assistance. Sometimes they give social assistance on the mere presentation of a copy of letter to the Family Court to appoint a mediator, without requesting a follow up to check if proceedings were concluded, and they continue to issue social assistance. Other times when there is a court order, they stop social assistance to the wife until she takes action against her husband for the arrears due in maintenance, even though the husband has no assets.
Unfortunately, the situation is leaning more against women, and women have to unite and burn their bra once again and take a stand so that their role as mothers and as carers is considered by the court in calculating maintenance. Otherwise they will continue to give this service to their estranged husband free of charge and the only compensation or reward they get from him is to find a job because the children have become teenagers.
Looking after the children is no easy task and many are not able to do it; actually many of the fathers I know give up easily. They are unable to communicate with their children; and taking their children to a fast food outlet or to the cinema is their definition of parenthood. They think that their fatherhood stops with the payment of maintenance and there are others who are more cheeky and think that they have every right to access and even resort to court action without paying maintenance.
Unfortunately our courts do not combine access with maintenance and they argue that they have an application for access and not for maintenance and they do not consider whether the father is paying maintenance when considering his demands to have access to the children.

Any comments?
If you wish your comments to be published in our Letters pages please click button below.
Please write a contact number and a postal address where you may be contacted.