The Tonio Fenech proposal to award a €6 increment per week to all employees is yet another nail in the coffin for the business community. I hope Vince Farrugia realises that it is about time he gets back to his old self. It is high time the business community rallies together to halt this madness. I am quite sure that the TFs of this world are conscious of how awful the situation is. It is bad enough that we have a state of affairs where we have two socialist parties: the TF lookalikes, and the party in opposition.
Yes, we do have two socialist parties. And guess what, they are both in the same soup. The only difference is that the party in government started off with the intention of combating socialist hegemony. But as one good friend told me, it is a party that does not know where it started from and where it is going.
So the good news, is that we are totally f***ed! Let’s face it: which government obliges business to fork out €6 to everyone’s weekly salary without any careful consideration of the general business climate. Well, the answer to that is one of the following:
It is a government run by simpletons;
A government inspired by Marxist principles;
A government that could not give a hoot if business sheds more workers;
A government that has absolutely no idea of how to address a situation.
So what measures need to be taken to address the situation? Unlike George Fenech, who suggested that he did not discuss politics with Tonio Fenech when flying thousands of metres high up in the air, my conversation with Tonio Fenech would be something like this:
Saviour Balzan sits next to Tonio on the plane. He looks ahead and sees the bald patch on George Fenech and Joe Gasan’s white hairs. Saviour has been fortunate enough to be invited by George Fenech to watch a football match, even though he cannot understand why people make such a big fuss over 22 crotchety men running after a small ball. He is offered a whisky, and orders a Talisker.
GF: Good whisky eh?
SB: Thanks George, I appreciate it. Didn’t you tell Charlie (Mangion) and Lino (Spiteri) to come along? I would really have liked to meet Lino – I love the way he can take criticism, most especially about the time he was a minister (and what a minister…).
GF: (laughs) Well, I cannot invite everyone… I have to take care of my expenses account!
Everybody laughs… Tonio Fenech chokes on the ice
SB: Here Tonio… fasten your seat belt. I’m in one of those nasty moods. Thanks for the libel suit. I can just understand you. I’d have done the same in your shitty situation. I guess it is only way you can fight back. But I doubt you will get to places in court...
TF: Issa naraw. I will win the case. I am sure of that.
SB: Do not be sure of anything in life. And I guess in politics, being sure of tomorrow is not exactly the best kind of policy. Insomma, in your case you can always go back to your glorified accountancy job with PricewaterHouse. Good for you. But on another note, do you really think you can justify that COLA increase?
Tonio Fenech sips his campari and orange, he lifts his shoulders and digs his chin inside the Arsenal scarf.
TF: You tal-business are always the same. You do not want to pay more and you do not want to pay taxes. If you cannot pay those bills, then get out of business!
SB: Heard him George? Ghidlu grazzi. Tell me George how much will this COLA cost you?
GF: He, he, he ma jimpurtax... nirbah kuntratt iehor u naghmel tajjeb ghal kollox.
Everybody laughs…
SB: Ghidli, Tonio, between you and me (and the big blue sky)... who takes decisions when it comes to finances?
TF: Well, sometimes it is Salvu Gauci from the ministry and at other times it is group of very qualified civil servants and on other occasions... well... none of your business. Insomma, sometimes we are landed with decisions which we never really discuss .. the electricity and water and gas increments were a surprise for me as well. But I cannot do anything about that. If Austin decides, then Austin decides.
SB: U ejja, after all George told The Times that politics is never discussed in his jet planes.
More laughter…
GF: Balzan se ddejjaqli ****. Can we change subject?
SB: Okay. Hey Joe (Gasan)… since when did you start taking an interest in Arsenal matches?
JG (looks bewildered, and replies in his relaxed drawl): Well, I love soccer and good company.
SB: Did you ever watch football matches with Bertie (Mizzi)? Is it true what I have heard that sometimes he sleeps in airports to avoid hotel bills?
JG: Saviour, can you stop it? You know Uncle Bertie, he made his millions by saving on his pennies.
Yet more laughter…
SB: Tonio, don’t you feel uncomfortable being here with such big businessmen?
TF: Why should I? I told Lawrence, and Lawrence was as usual was very understanding. I do not know why all this fuss about a trip. And after all, why should I be deprived of such a freebie?
GF: Tonio, do not speak to him. He is just a jealous bastard. He cannot understand how much I have given and done for this country and what this country would be without me.
JG: And what about me?
TF: Yes, f**** right.
SB: Okay guys, cool it. I was only asking. I am sure all of you are here without a little help from those friends. But one last question, George, and it’s a rather personal question.
GF: Go ahead, but after this, just shut up.
SB: If Tonio was still a Birkirkara mayor and not a Minister of Finance. Or better still: if next time round he is not elected, which is always a possibility, would you still have invited him?
GF: Of course, why not? I do not invite people on my private jet because of their position. Look at you: you are a little shit and here you are on my plane. Why should I have invited you?
SB: Risposta tajba.
Laughter erupts on Air Fenech…
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I am quite sure that the TFs of this world are conscious of how awful the situation is. It is bad enough that we have a state of affairs where we have two socialist parties: the TF lookalikes, and the party in opposition.
