Saviour Balzan | Wednesday, 29 October 2008

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Letter to a Colonel

Dear Colonel, I hope this letter finds you glowing and in the best of health. I must say that the bleached white suit and oversized sunglasses suit you fine.
Anyone who even remotely suggests that you look like a buffoon should be sent packing in mid-July into the Sahara desert. The mere suggestion that you are an autocrat and a demagogue is offensive to me, let alone to the millions who adore you.
I must say that I was intrigued by your decision to award a human rights award to my hero.
Needless to say I am pleased to see that you, as leader of a democratic and peace-loving country with an aversion for terrorism and so-called guttural hatred for anti-imperialism, have made the right selection.
I have tried very hard to find the criteria and reasons for your decision. I am sure that I would not be too insensitive if I dig for the reasons – as I see them – for this flawless choice.
First of all, the fact that Dom has been awarded a cash prize of a quarter-million dollars must surely have saved the day for this desperate man. He is always complaining about lack of funds and the high cost of living – I am convinced that he has a serious problem to make ends meet.
It is so unfair to hear people describe him as an eternal miser. His financial situation is so overstretched that his long time friend and acolyte Karm Mifsud Bonnici was in the past, even constrained to pay his overdue water bill. So nice of Karm. I wonder what makes him such a nice guy. I guess spending so much time in Mintoff’s presence would turn anyone into an affable guy.
In his venerable old age, Mr Mintoff has been transformed into the ‘poverty-stricken’ archetype. It must have been his blind dedication and low income over the years as architect and saviour of this country.
I am sure that after cashing his quarter of a million dollars he will donate more than 90% of the same amount to some noble cause and do nothing to alter the unpleasantness and ambience at The Olives, his Tarxien abode.
But you know, Muammar, this human rights award brings to the fore the special qualities of this man, the first European Prime Minister to drive through Peking and savour the sweet, awful breath of Chairman Mao, father of the great Cultural Revolution.
Here is a man who, through his immense genius, created men like Danny Cremona, Patrick Holland and of course, Lorry Sant: icons who stood out for their goodness and fairness. Their contribution to society is felt until this very day.
Here was a Socialist leader who oversaw the qualitative transformation of violence and intolerance with the kind participation of former Commissioner of Police Lawrence Pullicino, Assistant Commissioner Psaila, officers Pico and Stubbings, and of course the volunteers: namely Ganni il-Pupa, il-Fusellu, il-Qattus, it-Toto and il-Qahbu.
I simply love to reminisce over Dom. His uplifting commitment to public broadcasting and his choice of Pellegrini to run Xandir Malta was proof of his belief in a constructive media. Pellegrini’s excellent contribution to media magic, with the participation of stars such as Eileen Montesin, will never be forgotten.
Indeed we are all once very proud of being collaborators of Mintoff, of being Mintoffian, and of being mediocre.
Yet the extent of Mintoff’s vision is best illustrated by his clash with the Catholic Church, the private institutions, the clampdown on private enterprise, the vision of a Mintoffian autarky for the country, the bulk buying system, and the true meaning of nepotism and cronyism.
The Mintoffian doctrine was so extensive that it contaminated other politicians.
Mintoffian politics is so great that today, it is taken up over and over again by politicians of all hue.
Appreciating Mintoff’s foreign policy is one way of understanding the man’s reverence for a free world.
His ties with the dictatorships of North Korea, Communist China and Communist Rumania are but a few examples. And of course his love-hate relationship with you dear Muammar... an unparalleled love, too intense and deep to comprehend.
Over the ages, Mintoff endeavoured to prove to the world the essence of being tolerant. He was tolerant to doctors, tolerant to the courts, to private banks, to newspaper editors, to foreign journalists, to students and above all to criticism.
Mintoff is by far the embodiment of reverence to others. His demeanour, his diplomatic approach in a debate, his admiration for those who suggested things to him, his habit of shifting the goalposts, enshrined his personality.
Muammar, well done! Well done for such a fantastic idea: it goes to prove that Libya and its politically unelected leaders are in reality not disconnected from the world or the meaning of life.
Anyone who suggests that you Colonel Gaddafi, and your cronies, are completely detached from the whole bloody universe should be tried in front of one your courts of justice at once.
Which is why, when I heard of the $250,000 cash gift for Mintoff’s human rights achievement, I couldn’t help feel vindicated for the criticism and vitriol thrown against this man day in, day out.
Long live the Great Socialist People’s Libyan Arab Jamahiriya. Long live the Third International Theory. And long live Dom Mintoff.

With sincere wishes,

Saviour Balzan
San Gwann

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