That Lawrence Gonzi had decided before the election to take over MEPA was one sure way of passing on the message that the controversies at MEPA are a thing of the past. It follows then, that George Pullicino and before him Tonio Borg, and before him Francis Zammit Dimech, were either hopeless or incapable of putting their act together.
Political logic therefore led Richard & Co. to conclude that only a pair of safe hands could turn MEPA into an institution of integrity and a showpiece of careful and sensible planning.
It is of course part of the Gonzi cult. Anything Gonzi does appears to have celestial origins and must therefore also have divine inspiration. I am sure Richard Cachia Caruana believes this; he is after all the man who discovered Gonzi way back in 1986.
That Gonzi has all the answers is of course a whole load of absolute bollocks. Gonzi is like any other politician, such as, for example, George Abela. As any other successful politician, he has the knack for the confident smile and charm. And he can do both things at the same time. Even when the whole friggin’ roof is caving in.
So when Dr Gonzi took his safe pair of hands to solemnly promise to the owners of the ugly green slums at Armier that any of their illegal constructions built before 1992 would be legalised, I could only do what sea passengers do on the Malta-Sicily catamaran.
Lawrence Gonzi cannot remember the green slum saga. At that time he wasn’t in the Nationalist Party. When we were out in the street confronting the real assholes he was in some devout religious movement. At the time I would strut to and fro (that is, in the 80s) depositing news stories with the late Tony Mallia of The Democrat and Joe Cassar of il-Mument about the way the squatters had taken over the shoreline of Armier and Mellieha. Mallia and Cassar would welcome the stories and they would give their own flavour to the story.
Back then the green slums were described as another Mintoffian way of doing away with law and order and allowing everyone do as they wish. Squatting on public land is of course a deplorable act.
The PM’s aide-de-camp says in today’s issue that since the ‘slums’ have water and electricity then it should follow that they should be given a permit. He does not mention that the new rules make it impossible for illegal dwellings to have electricity and water.
Well, had it not been for MaltaToday and today’s issue, no one would really know that in 2003 a secret agreement was drawn up between the Eddie Fenech Adami government and the green slum owners – it said that they would do exactly what the green slum owners wanted. No one had seen the agreement.
Then in 2008, Lawrence Gonzi secretly agrees to respect the 2003 agreement because the green slum owners call on him to implement what an elected Alfred Sant would have willingly implemented… had the Pullicino Orlando story not been silenced by Joe Saliba.
Both secret agreements took place before an election under the watchful eyes of Richard Cachia Caruana. It’s a bloody disgrace that a politician wishing to give the impression that there will no more hanky-panky at MEPA, unilaterally decides to concede everything to the slum owners. I wonder why Simon Busuttil did not ask him this question when five days later, Gonzi announced he would be kicking George Pullicino to 2nd division and taking over MEPA.
Which leads me to ask what will Gonzi be doing in the next five years? Only God knows, but since we have established that God is firmly on the side of the Nationalists, then there is a very good chance that Gonzi will have a free hand.
It is of course very interesting to see what all the bluish environmental NGOs will be saying about this story.
I am dying to hear what Vince ‘it’s-OK-to-build-a-boathouse-in-Dwejra’ Attard (Nature Trust’s president) will say about Armier. I wonder what the others will say, like Rudolf Ragonesi of Gaia Foundation; and Astrid Vella of Flimkien ghal Ambjent Ahjar – the green countess who has the habit of vetting some of the articles she sends to MaltaToday with Dolores Cristina.
Until now Dr Gonzi has had a field day. Everyone thinks that with MEPA under his paws this country will blossom and the contractors and speculators will fly away like dandelion seeds. Just in the same way as the cost of living has blossomed, or the way craters in our streets have budded, and of course very much in the same way our new bright and gifted deputies got themselves elected to the House.
With his shameful secret agreement with the green slum owners, Gonzi has proven to us that he is after all like any other politician. He is willing to win at all costs even if it means bending the principles a little bit.
It also sends a message to all those who have had to walk up the prickly hill of MEPA procedures, who pleaded for some understanding and flexibility from MEPA, but who were faced with endless red tape over a small window, a washroom, perhaps a boundary wall or even an exotic tree; and it sends a message to all those who were told MEPA was part of no game of political expedience.
Hallina Lonz!
The message is clear: if you want your sins forgiven by the saviour of MEPA, then become a member of the association of green slums, and surely you will get what you want.
Or better still. Phone up Joe Saliba and become a life member of the Nationalist Party.

It came to me as a surprise when PBS announced that Joseph Muscat would not be contesting the Labour leadership battle. It was of course a big fat lie, and despite the fact that Muscat sent in a statement to Mr Natalino Fenech that it was not true, Mr Fenech went ahead and did what he had to do.
We have to stop here for a minute.
As everyone knows, Mr Fenech is not only someone who does not like Labour but he is also someone who specialises in spin. In my long years of work and of having befriended the man, I saw how closely he worked with the Nationalists, most especially with the one and only Richard. Take a look at his stories when he worked with The Times and there one can see what I mean by spin.
Why Natalino would want to kneecap Joseph Muscat a day before his declaration of principles beats me. It is bad enough that he has his own prejudices, but to foment them is another thing.
Before Natalino carried his story the same question was put to Muscat by The Times. Coincidence I guess. It is of course history repeating itself.
The only worry is that The Times has every right to be a spin machine. It is privately run and has the freedom to decide its own biblical route.
But with Natalino it is another matter. He is head of news at a publicly funded station that is expected to be fair.
But then I had nearly forgotten that that is exactly what the boys at Castille and l-iStamperija who chose Natalino want PBS to be... fair, or in other words, in no way an extension of their dream of ruling for the next 100 years.
If Natalino needs a rebuke so does Dominic Fenech. Will the PBS editorial chairman investigate Natalino in the same way he investigated ‘my good friend’ Lou Bondì? I doubt it.
The spin concocted by Natalino favours, as we all know, George Abela. And Dom Fenech, as we all know, is blatantly campaigning for Dr Abela.
The man should be asked with immediate effect to resign from his paid post of acting editorial chairman. Dom Fenech, who was secretary-general of the Labour Party when it excelled in vilification, violence and outright nepotism, supports George Abela. He has every right to do so, but not while hanging on to the post of acting chairman of the editorial board and pontificating over editorial independence.
If he thinks that it is perfectly ok, then I will have my head examined and perhaps milk cows instead of writing opinion columns.

When I think of Natalino I also think of hunting and of friendships gone sour. You see, Natalino, as many people may not know, was a vehement opponent of hunting. He was also an author of a funny book about hunting that was full of inaccuracies and massive exaggerations. When he was sort of not involved in the run-up to the negotiations on hunting, typically, he started to befriend hunters. On one occasion he got a Times journalist to ask me if I had ever eaten game when off in France. To which I informed the poor Rosanne Zammit to tell Natalino to sod off.
All of a sudden, Natalino finds hunters to be very cordial and caring people. And for some absurd reason, Natalino dislikes BirdLife Malta and more importantly actively supports a ludicrous project for hunters to capture turtle doves and ring them – a project which has been shot down by Brussels.
Well, since PBS news is very much a part of Natalino’s way of looking at things, expect to see what Natalino thinks about hunting in next Tuesday’s Dissett. Look out for the choice of people in the programme. Most of them are individuals who have had differences with BirdLife.
But on the subject of hunting, I should say that the hunters, most especially the sullen looking Lino Farrugia who is presently being psychologically tortured by the present state of affairs, are completely correct in saying that the Prime Minister must come clean with the big family of hunters and trappers.
The PM has said that they will wait for the European Court before taking a decision. So, dear Lonz… what happens if the court does not take a decision?
Gonzi is a grandmaster at procrastination. He can kick balls back into someone else’s court and then stroll away for a long holiday. He did this with John Dalli, he has done it with JPO. And now he is doing it with hunting.
So Lino, you are perfectly right: the government does need to take a decision. But just in case you have no clue what the decision is going to be – I can give you give a little sniggering preavviso or hint.
No hunting in spring, dear Lino. Not on your nelly. Not in your lifetime.
And not because I said so, but simply because you wasted five years. And instead of getting your members to understand that they would have to change some of their habits, you continued blaming me and saying that you could renegotiate with Brussels and change things.
The sad thing is that everyone believed you.
You have only yourselves to blame. Yourself to blame when you believed Gonzi in 1998 who promised you hunting would stay there forever. And yourself to blame when the negotiations documents said in black on white that there were very strict conditions to adhere to and if not…
So next time a hunter comes up to you and grumbles and groans with saliva dripping out the corner of his mouth, instead of pointing an accusing finger at me, take your slender, bent, dark finger and turn it round and land it on your chest and repeat these words slowly but determinedly: “Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea grandissima culpa.”