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I am tired of our ministers acting as if they were as impotent as Hugh Hefner without Viagra whenever it comes to enforcing our environmental laws. The report about the illegal development carried out by Polidano Brothers at Xemxija has been drawn up. Anybody who drives past the site can see the disastrous state of the place where a building has been left practically hanging in mid-air because of the developers’ devilish insistence on hacking away at the hillside despite there having been several stop notices issued in their regard.
The commission entrusted with drawing up the report has provided an exhaustive overview of the situation, and come up with some very useful proposals. The proposals are useful because they’re practical and don’t only consist in increasing the fines for illegal development. The fines can be sky-high but they still won’t be much of a deterrent if the chances of detection and enforcement are nil.
Also, cowboy constructors aren’t going to pee in their pants if they are able to cower behind the corporate veil and avoid liability by claiming that it’s their company which is carrying out the works illegally. The commission suggests that in such cases the corporate veil is ripped aside, and the directors be found personally liable. The adoption of this and the other proposals by the government would signal their serious intent to get to grips with the bane of illegal development all over the island.
In the meantime Polidano Brothers are ripping up the road leading to Castille for the umpteenth time in the span of a few months. The CHOGM tarmac was not up to standard, then the pavement was too wide, then…. oh, who cares? All we know is that it’s beginning to feel like the Groundhog Day film where the protagonist wakes up to find himself endlessly and repeatedly living through the same day, every day. It gets to you sometimes.
Necessity is the mother of invention. Man can be very ingenious and think up all sorts of solutions to achieve his ends even in the most unfavourable of circumstances. Unfortunately this is especially true of the criminal underclass.
In one of the films of The Godfather trilogy, an unarmed assassin has to find some way of killing a mafia boss. Inspiration is at hand – he tears off the spectacles from the capo’s face and plunges them into his throat, murdering him. Now, we get that kind of creative thinking in Malta. Early in the morning on Easter Sunday, a dispute arose over a parking space in Zurrieq and a fight ensued. Later a father-and-son team were accused of the attempted murder of their neighbour’s boyfriend. The weapon used? A chunky silver necklace which was about 1.5 inches wide and made up of heavy silver links. This was allegedly torn off the victim’s neck and used to beat him up with. When exhibiting the weapon in court, the prosecuting officer noted with some degree of understatement, that it must have taken “a considerable amount of force to rip such a heavy piece of jewellery off someone’s neck.”
Considerable force indeed – and some degree of lateral thinking – just not applied in the right manner that’s all. It also confirms what I’ve always thought about men and jewellery – they simply don’t go together. They have no idea what to do with the stuff.
The renowned showman Phineas T. Barnum of Barnum and Bailey Circus fame is credited with saying, “There’s a sucker born every minute”. Actually it was a competitor of his who uttered the words which were later attributed to Barnum, but whoever its author, the phrase definitely holds true. There will always be people who choose to be gullible, to believe incredible declarations basing themselves on the flimsiest shred of evidence. Any iota of common sense (if they ever had any) is thrown to the wind and they rush headlong into believing the craziest of things.
There is of course, nothing wrong, with temporary bouts of credulity and suspension of belief (the world would be a terribly boring place if children did not believe in fairies and Disney, women dismissed the miracle-working potential of anti-cellulite creams, and men had to be realistic about their pulling power or lack of it), however being extremely naïve and credulous is another thing altogether and allows unscrupulous persons to take advantage of the gullible. This is why so many people are duped into losing a small fortune by fraudsters posing as deposed Nigerian ministers who send emails promising incredible wealth to those who participate in their get-rich-quick schemes. Though my sympathies lie with the people who lose their money, I can’t help feeling that in some ways they asked for it – that they want to take the easy path to success without working hard for it. They are diddled out of their cash because they want to believe that they have figured out a way of making money which no-one else has. They are wrong of course – the rule to be followed in such cases is that if anything seems too good to be true, it probably is a scam and to be avoided at all costs.
I got to thinking about these things when I came across an advert for the services of a certain Prof. Akim in a daily newspaper. Akim bills himself as an “International spiritual healer an advicer (sic). He says he is “born with a nolage (sic).” Presumably he means knowledge – a specialised sort of knowledge which enables him to look into the future and cast spells. In any case, Akim seems to be a jack-of-all-trades as he claims to be a medium, clairvoyant and “specialist for the love life.” He assures readers, “I’m here today for you. I can help you bring back your love one faster than everybody does,” (his italics). He goes on to say, “I can help you for the games, the lotto, exams, good luck, progress, protection, success in the business and work, commercials, difficulties, sexual impotency, family problems.” I wonder if Mr. Akim has listed the problems of the Maltese in any particular order, with our biggest headaches being given priority. It would seem that he has sussed us out quite accurately as good luck in games and the lotto are more important to most than a decent family life. The enterprising Akim leaves us with the parting shot, “Don’t hesitate to contact me. I can find solution for all your problems. Results 100% guarantee. The happiness is waiting for you after seeing Mr. AKIM.”
Now if anybody actually believes that a man who can’t even spell can bring about a change in his fortunes, then he deserves to be suckered out of every cent he pays up.
cl.bon@nextgen.net.mt
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