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Decisions / ‘desiz(')n/ n.
Lawrence Gonzi, anointed/appointed/elected leader of the Nationalist Party is a man of decisions: no-messing, bullet-biting, hardball decision-maker and svengali negotiator make Gonzi a man with a mission, albeit a kamikaze one. Suspiciously Freudian in the manner with which he will repeat the word ad nauseam throughout any speech, 2004 has not been a great year for being PM and juggling the finance portfolio, hikes in VAT, electricity and kerosene, the eco-tax, the resignation of a senior minister, and a diaspora of voters from the PN. Gonzi will be soul-searching at breakneck speed before the year is out.
Reform
(restructure, and redeploy) / ri’fo:m/ v. & n.
The three ‘R’s mangled into a neoliberalist equation for the salvation of an ailing Maltese economy, the Gonzi government took on a series of harrowing company restructuring projects to finally introduce a concept formerly alien to the administration – efficiency. Workforces were cut down to affordable wage bills, and golden handshakes meant a costly, though less strenuous goodbye to former government workers. Everything under the shadow of government financing today faces reform – the PBS is a shadow of its former self, and now pensions, health, social security await the three ‘R’s treatment.
Immigrant / ’Imigr(e)nt/ n. & adj.
The most terrifying prospect for jingoists fearing the purity of Maltese blood will be soiled by families escaping war-torn African nations, immigration has turned out to be one of the reasons why these islands are forever assailed by provincial mediocrity. Boatloads of asylum seekers paddled onto the Maltese coasts this year as Home Affairs Minister Tonio Borg bit his tongue after his concentration camps failed to live up to be the deterrent he hoped for. Apparently, asylum seekers complained they were not given enough phonecards, otherwise they would have phoned their loved ones to tell them Malta really sucks.
Edward / ed’we:d/
The patriarch forgoes a slumbering retirement and instead decides to try his hand at doing bugger-all at the expense of the nation. Acting as the powerless figurehead of the island, driving about in a Lm70,000 BMW seven-series, The-Prime-Minister-Formerly-Known-As-Eddie will now be royally heralded as Edward, the Christian name which so befits his esteemed role as dispenser of gifts to pensioners at St Vincent de Paule, reading books to schoolchildren, and upholding justice as President of the Commission for the Administration of Justice (anybody for irony?)
Social Pact / ‘seuÚ(')l pakt/ n.
Elusive and maybe even impossible. The social pact was thrown onto the debating table at the MCESD by the Union Haddiema Maqghudin but failed to achieve consensus as neither unions nor business organisations could agree on a final compromise, leaving Finance Minister Lawrence Gonzi foolhardy in his attempt to secure agreement. Following Budget 2005, it is believed the only thing social about the elusive pact will be the clinking glasses of bubbly at the signing ceremony.
PAC abbr.
The Public Accounts Committee. Hungry for truth, clamouring for justice, alas, the accused His Excellency Richard Cachia Caruana escaped unscathed from indictments that the decision to drain Lm9 million from the country’s coffers for the purchase of an embassy in Brussels was his alone. But rather than the power of the people’s representatives, the PAC revealed the inability for Labour to grill RCC down to size. Sigh.
Pensioner / ‘penÚ(')n'/ n.
Believed to be facing extinction, a species currently being given a new lease of life by extending his (her) working life to a longer age, just before sciatic injury becomes unavoidable. Whilst MPs’ pensions are left untouched, as of now nobody banks on a serene life of being paid by the government for waiting to die. You pay your own way to heaven, or hell, or Zion. Whatever.
Abortion / '’bo:Ú(')n / n.
The most horrific cult of baby-eaters and foetus-murderers were finally revealed to be none other than Alternattiva Demokratika, the Green Party, which in its 15 years of existence managed an average of one per cent at the general elections. The Nationalist spin-machine so successfully managed to inculcate fear into the electorate during May 2004’s European Parliament election, that AD managed to garner 23,000 first-count votes, leaving the PN to complain that the majority of abortionists who voted for AD were in fact Nationalists. What a great deal of faith!
Eritrea / eri’treIa /
Another medal for Malta’s human rights record and one which emblazons the illustrious career of Home Affairs Minister Tonio ‘we did nothing wrong’ Borg. An Amnesty International report details the systematic torture of 200-odd Eritrean deportees from Malta, after the country authorities apparently found that Eritrea was – when you forget about political and religious persecution, mandatory military conscription, and a fascist police force – well, safe so to speak. In the end, a magisterial inquest into the deportation found nothing wrong with the way government decided to airlift those devils back into the Eritrean inferno, bless our souls.
PISCES abbr.
A gift from good old America, land of the free and brave, land of Dubya, disenfranchised native Americans, the black underclass, etc etc. The Personal Identification Secure Comparison Evaluation System was designed for the CIA to track down travellers going in and out a country, but was ultimately meant to help the US keep a tack on suspect terrorists moving in and out of target countries. The Malta government denies it is playing minion to Big Brother, although reports are rife of the direct connection between PISCES systems around the world and the FBI. Ironically, PISCES was in operation in the US at the time of 9-11, which kind of makes you think doesn’t it?
Dar Malta
The government’s most historic investment, and one which keeps Malta at the apex of its hurricane diplomacy in the heart of Brussels - the only people celebrating the purchase of 25 Rue Archimede’s nine-storey monolith were the people at Cofinimmo, the Belgian real estate agents who managed to lump a derelict building choking in asbestos on the Maltese for Lm9 million. Somewhat damaging Gonzi’s popularity stakes, at least it means that Richard Cachia Caruana won’t get that wet prancing from Dar Malta to the European Commission building across the road under those horrible Brussels showers.
Eco-contribution / ’i:k'Wkontri’bju:Ú(')n / n.
The Nationalist government shows its environmental erudition by going all green and introducing a polluter-pays-principle tax. Somewhere along the line, the tax is turned into an extension of VAT, where every single product, irrespective of its environmental damage, is levied the same amount of tax. Failing to incentivise discerning consumer behaviour, prices go up, and so does our environmental mediocrity.
MEP abbr.
The Maltese finally get representation in the European Parliament through the election of five MEPs, two of them Nationalist and three Labour, leaving the PN dumbfounded at its worst electoral result ever since the fifties.
SIMED
Dutch medical equipment suppliers whose Maltese siesta leaves them with a sour taste of the way we conduct our business, especially at Mater Dei Hospital. Unaccustomed as they are to our southern, small-island ways of awarding multi-million tenders to preferred bidders from the Italian mainland, SIMED milked the Maltese justice system for all its worth, even appointing a private detective who at the end turned out to be nothing but a con, sending the company’s hopes of retribution further down the drain.
Chambray
‘Finally a good deal’ were the courageous words mustered by the government on selling off Fort Chambray in Gozo for around Lm3 million to Gozitan businessman Michael Caruana ‘il-Billi’. For years, the fort languished in deterioration after an ill-conceived business deal with P2 freemason Roberto Memmo, the notorious Italian businessman whose payoff for relinquishing his share in Chambray netted him one of the easiest profits in years. Again, an example of shrewd business tactics by the Maltese government. Again, rodgered by the Italians.
Golf / galf / n. & v.
The Verdala golf course application, which boldly envisioned an area greater than the area of Tas-Sliema converted into an 18-hole course, was refused by the Malta Environment and Planning Authority’s DCC board (by a vote of 12 to 0) following years of protests by environmental organisations. Pipe dreams of economic salvation at the swing of a club are however not just shared by developer Angelo Xuereb, as both Lawrence Gonzi and Alfred Sant have expressed agreement with a water-guzzling green that is expected to compete against dozens of courses in the Mediterranean.
SKANSKA
Swedish contractor giants once again show up the government for its negotiating skills after taking the country for a ride with spiralling costs at the never-ending Mater Dei hospital project. With commensurate adeptness, SKANSKA managed to keep up hospital costs trailing as progress at the Tal-Qroqq site remained postponed until Gonzi himself took the bull by the horns and established a completion date for the hospital – his actual birthday. Ego-tripping, like?
Oil / sIl / n. & v.
Beating the petroleum horse senseless until not a waft of life came out its nostrils, the Nationalist government ensured everybody on the island knew they were in for an electricity price hike, as crude oil prices spiralled beyond the USD50-a-barrel threshold. The ominous landscape was soon dashed when MaltaToday revealed the prices at which Government buys its fuel oil had not in fact changed, but actually decreased since 2003. Embarrassment all round for a government that had to look elsewhere for a justification of its electricity price hike, despite all the aplomb that renders such abashment water on a duck’s back for Gonzi and co.
Opera House / ‘op(')ra haus / n.
Gonzi decides the Royal Opera House, for decades a symbol of endless procrastination of all administrations, should host a new parliament. The new project is estimated to run into several millions, an idea which falls foul with an electorate besieged by new hardships from Gonzi’s own budget, and which resents having to fork out more cash for a new playground for the MPs.
Brindisi
A momentary tiff between Investments Minister Austin Gatt and Opposition Leader Alfred Sant once again adds some colour to the political drudgery. This time it’s the debated Lm4 million investment, or recapitalisation, in another ill-fated business deal concocted by both Labour and Nationalist governments with our Italian cousins. Once again, corruption and bribery are at the heart of the reason why millions could have been lost by the government in this Southern Italian port. Another shafting by the Italians confirms our masochism.
Depreciation / dI,pri:ÚI’eIÚ(')n, -sI’eI- / n.
Alfred Sant is back with a brainwave, and crackpot economics means the Harvard ex alumne is on about depreciation, or devaluation, and how the Maltese lira does not live up to its real worth. Political tennis in Parliament means that once again, we are going nowhere, devaluation itself prompting fears of higher import prices and cash flowing outside the island. Government obviously lambastes Sant, who in turn maintains poker-faced insouciance as economists express their desire for both leaders to shut up, for once.
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