Opinion • January 25 2004

The washing machine

Taking a cue from a washing machine, Saviour Balzan draws parallels with the political spin machine

A month later, and I was finally told that an unusual Christmas present I had purchased - a sort of washing machine akin to a spin machine - and paid for in full and in cash for a dear relative had not yet been delivered.
Thirty-two days later and in an insufferably ugly morning mood, I phoned the outlet. The unfortunate female phone operator who was forced to suffer the brunt of my discomfort, chose not to react to my tantrum.
It transpired that the retail outlet tucked away near the old aerodrome had none of the white goods in stock. To say that I was livid is an understatement.
How in the heavens, I asked did one come to accept a cash payment in full, and fail to inform the client that the ‘object’ was not in stock, or better still to give the impression that this spin machine would be delivered SOON.
Heartless is the task in trying to understand the thinking behind many Maltese and Gozitan importers. What I do know is that some, or rather many, treat their customers as if customers were doing them a favour.
It also proves that most retail outlets believe that we should take service without a smile and what follows is a combination of destiny and chaos. Which reminds me of the spin that appeared in one of the English dailies before Christmas reporting that white goods sales were up and were being sold like cheesecakes because of VAT. Bollocks … just a simple ploy to encourage a stampede to an otherwise slow Christmas and or, the old stock to be sold.
Spin machines as we can all see are not restricted to politics, though the stories of spin we encounter in politics are juicier and definitely far more interesting.
Chapter number one for spin showed its amusing head in a little contribution in The Times. No this time The Times columnist was not talking about his favourite subject; l-ghana in Malta. No, this time he unabashedly uncovered his fleeting preference for one candidate and against others, with unusual references to the ideological barometer and cloning, a subject which is academic and passé to say the least. His contribution left many contemplating the question: what is his game?
If it were possible to take the same author, the youngish anthropologist Ranier Fsadni, through a time machine and back in time to 1977 he would – if one were to take the same style of thinking - definitely rubbish Dr Eddie Fenech Adami as the potential candidate for the PN leadership post. The young lawyer from Birkirkara in 1977 was anything but a clone of Borg Olivier. He was, in fact, a breath of fresh air.
Mr Fsadni’s intentions are well known to all, and he has every right to spin the machine. And though he has conveniently forgotten that he is the head of AZAD, an official PN institute, his outbursts are like manna to the media monkeys hungry for something to hook on to.
Chapter number 2 in spin, was Alfred Sant’s attempt to emulate the Mintoff years and taunt Fenech Adami to resign.
His principal aim is to make Dr Fenech Adami distraught and bring himself into a position where he does not resign at all. And why?
Interesting question, but one that only leads us to appreciate that Alfred Sant seems to believe that he can surely win the next election if Dr Fenech Adami hangs on to his crown. In such situations Alfred Sant’s assessments are his worst enemy. A 75 year old Fenech Adami would decimate a Labour party led by Alfred Sant who has the nasty habit of returning to his old slogans and quips. There is no doubt in my mind.
Chapter 3 and more spin. The Malta Independent pens a front-page story that the Prime Minister will resign on his birthday 7 February.
Again a rumour that has been doing the rounds, but one that has undoubtedly been disseminated by those in the corridors of power who are not over-enthusiastic about the sight of watching Dr Fenech Adami walk down the stairs of Castille for the last time hence losing their influence within government.
So as we can all see, spin has its ways and its perils.
Where it comes from, we know, to whom it is addressed we can be sure, but why is it conceived? That is another question.